I WILL pay for your coffee/lunch!

I feel like this is the most basic question ever, but it's a problem I am constantly having. People are always paying for meals/coffee with me, even if I reach out to them for a meeting or informational interview. Even when I set the precedent that I'll be taking you out for lunch... etc. When it comes time to pay people make a big fuss about the check and won't let me near it. I make it clear that I applicate they took the time to meet with me, and that I am more than happy to cover the bill, but they almost take it personally that I won't let them pay. In the end I always give in because it gets to be ridiculous and I don't want to end the meeting on a bad note.

Any advice out there on how to overcome this or should I just shut up and enjoy the free ride?

 

You mean: as a student going for a meal/coffee with somebody working in XYZ industry? It's pretty normal, especially since student life in the US (and elsewhere, to some extent) usually involves being low on money. Just pay it forward when you're on the other side of the table.

 

General rule: The more senior person pays. If you're a student and you're networking with an Analyst, Analyst will usually pay. If you're an Analyst going with an MD, MD will usually pay. If you're going with me, you're paying because I have a scorpion in my pocket.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

This. But keep doing what you are doing, and always offer to pay. The more senior person will offer 99% of the time, just make sure you take an action showing you are trying to pay. No one likes a leech.

...
 
Best Response
studentsa:

As a female I never even offer to pay it's always bought for me

you're the one being bought, sweetheart
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

UP, UP, UP!!!

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
 
Tchyk:
Any advice out there on how to overcome this or should I just shut up and enjoy the free ride?

Please shut up and appreciate their generosity.

I swear, people on this site and social skills are like oil and water

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

i think the greatest payment that you can make to them is > to make it worth while for them to come out to see you and advise you > the last thing i want is > waste my time > then this kid do exactly the opposite of what i suggested

if you were smart > someone paying coffee for you is a good thing > they pay money for you > they are emotionally invested in you > they take time to talk to you > they are more invested in you > you listen to their advice + meet the people that they introduce > they are more invested in you > keep doing this + being pleasant > they will just start hiring you at their firms when time comes

net net > people being invested in you > both emotionally and financially is a good thing > because they will want you to succeed > which is what you want anyway

and don't be a dick > you are not that rich > imagine that you have to meet people for coffee + drinks > assuming average you need to pay US$20 for yourself + the other person > 20 x 800 > US$ 16,000 > 800 > assuming you only meet 200 people per year > during 4 years of college > 200/365 > only 1 new person every other day

 

I almost feel as though it's more awkward to even offer to pay as the more junior person. I can see how it could be insulting to an MD, etc

If I was the more senior person all I would expect is gratification for my time and meal, offering to pay IMO can look worse than just being grateful and thanking them... ESPECIALLY if they are using a corporate card..

Trying to argue that you want to pay (IE - making a second/third counter-offer) probably looks the most toolish of all. Don't argue with the person being nice enough to give you their time.

twitter: @StoicTrader1 instagram: @StoicTrader1
 

I'd say you gotta at least make the offer, you don't want to come off as a douche like you expect them to pay (even though they probably want to). A quick, "Can I grab your coffee?" should do just fine. Don't overthink things, try to be a human with a personality in these situations and they usually work out

 

I'm not on here all that often but this is the second time I've seen this question, if it's not obvious than I feel you probably lack the soft skills to go far..

If I go for coffee with someone more senior I'll reach for my wallet to show that I'm willing to pay but they have always more or less explicitly told me that it's on them, which is what I would expect but the gesture is polite. DO NOT insist on paying once they've offered, it makes the situation awkward, just accept their generosity and thank them.

As a first year analyst I'll pay when I'm with a student.

If it's someone on the same level I would say it's the one who initiated the 'meeting' who should pay.

 

Commodi temporibus inventore optio facilis. Iusto blanditiis assumenda sunt nostrum repudiandae. Consequuntur consequatur distinctio id unde.

Molestias enim nihil deserunt est necessitatibus iste et. Omnis sed aut voluptatibus nesciunt quia alias nihil aperiam.

Quae sint ut quia possimus omnis et. Aut officia sit iste nihil et error. Ratione quasi eum sequi id ut. Nulla a natus qui nisi exercitationem corrupti.

Est et porro ipsa est odio. Minus quas soluta reprehenderit vel. Nihil corporis veritatis explicabo cum ullam. Exercitationem beatae quas iste quas natus est corrupti. Est molestiae quos et quia quia qui hic.

 

Autem nesciunt repudiandae perspiciatis. Quia dolorem delectus praesentium voluptatum ipsa nostrum. Earum consectetur nemo omnis consequatur ipsa ex doloremque. Nostrum magnam tempora repellat ut ut veniam earum. Provident dolore voluptates culpa blanditiis rem. Voluptatum voluptatem quis qui repudiandae tempore.

Sit ut quasi modi exercitationem voluptas. Aut blanditiis accusamus voluptatum. Aspernatur maxime vitae illum voluptas libero molestiae ea. Quam mollitia voluptatibus ut in quia numquam odio delectus. Repudiandae ut est aut at rem. Nostrum sint est omnis odit voluptatem. Omnis labore eaque a magni quia.

Ad qui sapiente harum sapiente. Dolor sed molestiae velit voluptatibus. Cupiditate ea tempore ut et quo ipsam.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”