Person Goal: Become an M&A Lawyer for Houston Dynamo

As I've begun to advance my career, I've found that there is only one thing that is constant. Change. Change is the only constant and I see myself seeking and longing for stability. Stability not just in my personal life but also my work life. There's only one thing that reminds me more of Rice Village and my cute dogs (still alive) and that is the Houston Dynamo. A soccer team that is one thing and one thing only. Stability you may ask? HA! It's mediocracy, but that is besides the point. They remind me of my cute dogs (still alive) and my friend Fletcher...(objectively bad guy).

The reason that Fletcher is discussed in this conversation is because I have not seen him in awhile and my friends from school (Think Luke Watson, Ron Schoenbrun, Blair Nagel) don't like him. Sorry I'm getting sidetracked I miss Fletch Dawg. The Houston Dynamo have not only funded my entire University experience (Think Sigma Nu at a small private school in Chattanooga), but also my attending a prestigious private high school in Houston, TX not too far from Rice Village. The Dynamo make the world go round and I would love to repay them.

I believe my skills in M&A and debt (trust me I know a lot about debt financing, LIBOR, XR 10-12 hours, VP of Finance, & afters {a tale for another time}) would be a great addition to the Houston Dynamo corp. dev. team. I could help them with other things as well (strongarm) but that's beside the point. First name Clear last name... Honestly not even going to finish that last thought.

As I conclude I think about my cute dogs (still alive), my experience in investment banking (debt financing), and my longing to follow my parent's footsteps (XR, Dynamo, Rice Village). If you have any questions about the Houston Dynamo, Ray Dalio's Changing World Order, or any of my other skills (strongarm, Rice Village, etc.) please do not hesitate to reach out.

 
Most Helpful

First off, this is upsetting to read. Additionally, the whole thing looks like a legitimate monkey on a Johnny cash dose of amphetamines tried to write about their dream tree house or bundle of guavas layered up in the corner of some bungalow on the beach in the south of France (Think Schoenbrun type character. Ron or Ella, not too sure). Furthermore, most everything about this made me sick to my stomach and lastly, I think you must be a horribly disturbed person. Please seek help. Would recommend going to a family or close friend to seek some kind of guidance. Anyway, good luck on your journey to stability (Dynamo corp dev) Or whatever the fuck that even means I guess.

 

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