Should I ask for sick leave after being cheated on

Stay strong my dude 💪🏻 I’m pretty sure that in few months you will be happy again with a new chick

This has to be a troll post but if not yes take some time off sorry this happened

Sorry to hear mate - I went through something similar a couple years ago! Stay strong - it’ll get better 🙌🏻

At least you don't have to worry about what you're gonna get her for Valentine's Day now

Go to the doctor. Get a sick leave note. Give it to your work. You do not need to explain further. Despite what it feels like, it’s still just a job.

You gotta get it back in blood and be a rainmaker MD now

had something similar happen and felt at an all time low. I powered through the few staffings I was on but my work product 100% suffered and in hindsight, I wish I took off even 1-2 days in the beginning. Shit sucks but trust me, it gets 100x better. Life is too short to let some girl make us second guess our career ambition/choices

I understand that you do not feel the best which is reasonable and you're not being a crybaby. I think it's better to take 1-2 days off rather than a week, as when you have nothing to do it'll make you even more sad. 

I would also recommend talk to a professional because we all react to these things differently, and a professional might help you better on how to process it. 

Sorry to hear that man. Take just a day, go for a long and swift walk outside, go see a close friend in person, meditate etc. The world won’t fall apart without you for one day. Email your immediate superior and say “I have to attend to a serious family matter today, will be back online tomorrow.” If you kill it the day after and the rest of this week (use it as fire to fuel you) they’ll forget it even happened.

I had to let go of a long term relationship last year - was with an unfaithful and vindictive chaotic mess of a woman who turned around and attempted to get me arrested when I wanted her gone - and it’s pushed me into the best most clear state of mind I’ve ever had. I have never had as much focus or drive. Never enjoyed life so purely as I do without the burden that she was.

When through the same in the past. What a blessing it was and now I’m happier than ever. You should thank god. Could have happened sooner or later. She either loves you or not, if she was the one she should have understood and love you unconditionally. Now focus on your self, make money, work out, invest in your self, have some fun during summer and when the time comes your true soulmate will come and you will forget this sl**t in a second. 
 

P.s 

She will come back running, be prepared to send her ass back where she came from.

I’m sorry u have to go through this man. Been in your spot before and it derailed me for many months. It sucks especially when the dude makes more than you, that’s like the biggest ‘fuck you’ anyone can get. But u need to take this time to ask urself why ib, why ur working these long hours and what ur goals are. We can talk over pm if u need

Everything is case by case but for the most part, I'd highly recommend against taking any kind of leave over this.  It will only leave you with more regret.

She is trash, and she wasted your time and no doubt a lot of your money as well.  Don't let her take more from you by denting your standing at work.

Just find someone better.  That really is the only option here.

welcome to the gym brother

Ooof lad. Cucked by a Tech nerd. 

Betrayal is the kind of thing that can ruin your life if you allow the emotions to take control. Whether it’s trust issues in future relationships, wasting time trying to get back together with her, or turning to coping mechanisms, there are many pitfalls in front of you right now that you may need to address. The emotions are normal and human; nothing to feel weird or ashamed of.

Take whatever time you need to work through the emotions so you don’t fall into something that could hurt you even worse. Then use the experience to grow as a person so you’re ready to carry on with your life and find someone who will treat you right.

Make up a family death and take a week off. Sucks bro.

I had a devastating break up once and took me like a year and a half to start to recover.

In times like this, always remember what Chris brown said, “These hoes ain’t loyal.”

If she only into you or the next guy for how much money they make, she ain't it my guy

 

Hey man sorry to hear that's happened to you. In a weird way, you wouldn't want a continued relationship with anyone who would think to cheat on their partner, so at least she showed her true colors... things will get better

I am sorry this happened - take time off to heal, focus on your hobbies, join a charity, etc. Remember when Vegeta was going through a tough time, he went to the gym and became a super saiyan. 

Cheating is not ok and you shouldn't "forgive" her. And if she just left you because of this big red flag. And if she left you for a guy that makes more money, largest flag of all. Forget that b*tch.

You're a VP bro. You're crying over some silly hoe?

Take 1-2 days. Read Marcus Aurelius. Man the fuck up. Go work out and spend newfound time enjoying the perks of being single again.

You will get over this faster than you can imagine.

Take an extended long weekend off or the entire week off. You're allowed to grief, it's normal...

Forget about the FAANG boy who earns more than you while working less. There's always someone better doing better than you. No need to compare yourself to others.

Bro, she’s claiming she’s leaving because you don’t spend enough time with her yet she is sure to mention this guy makes more money than you…

listen to some eminem in his Kim era and then do the first thing that comes to your head

I would take time off.

At the very least you are going to need time to figure out new living arrangements (or get her stuff out of yours).

Hit the gym, eat healthy, surround yourself with friends, go scortched earth no contact (block on everything). Maybe book a trip for yourself.

AKA the "fordbidden pre-workout".

I know it hurts (she's a demon btw), it happened to me too years ago. But this unfortunate event is best used as fuel to hit the gym and become the best man that you are capable of. Don't chase leisure or free time "to get your mind off things" - use this as a motivator to really push yourself and wake up.

If you feel you need the time off, take it.  Don't explain why - you don't have to, and you shouldn't.  Mental health is health too!

Hey man 
Just a college student so no value add here. But I wish you the best going forward, and I hope you get bounce back better than ever.

Hey man, I am very sorry - breakups are extremely painful, and it's even worse getting cheated on. I went through a similar situation, so I know how terrible you're feeling at the moment. The best advice I can give you is to channel your sadness into something constructive and use it as fuel to achieve your goals and become a better person. Stay busy, avoid talking to her if possible, and just grind. You're going to be in pain for a while; it's not fun, but if you can hang in there and turn all that trauma and sadness towards something productive, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you!

Also, once you're feeling ready and you start dating other women, you will realize she was not that special.

The answer is yes. In my opinion, if something personal is affecting you where you can't do your best work, and you need some time to deal with the situation, it's appropriate take some time off. It's not gonna win you a medal, but on the other hand, what if you screw something up because you're not focused? You've expressed concern that your boss will ask why. You could consider saying something like, "a very serious personal matter I need to attend to." I doubt it goes further than that, they don't want to hear about your problems.  Mention that you'll be able to resolve it in the time you've requested. You're a VP, you've hopefully earned enough credibility that they'll give you the benefit of the doubt at least once. In the extremely unlikely situation you got called out on it, how would it look? You were very upset about a personal problem, you didn't want to screw things up at work, so you took a week off to deal with it, and then you came back ready to resume your work. Sounds like a mature guy who can handle himself. Many people have done worse.

Now I'd probably use vacation time, and a lot of firms don't differentiate between sick and vacation time, but if you're going to take sick leave specifically, you'd need to be comfortable claiming this as a health issue, or a reason covered by your company's sick leave policy and applicable laws, so you might want to look into that. 

Not going to waste your time by echoing the good advice already mentioned above, but there is a silver lining.

You may not think of this in a week or month later, but you sure as well a year later - it is good that you found out this now. Given that it’s long-term relationship with someone you live with, I’m sure that the M-word must’ve crossed your mind at least once.

While it may cause you a lot of pain now and even in the near future when you ruminate about the good times, you have the opportunity for a fresh start. You should be glad that you aren’t marrying a woman as superficial as her. You wouldn’t want the mother of your kids sleeping around with some fool a mere few hours after she drops your kids off to school.

Be strong brother, we’re all rooting for you.

No advice re: the girlfriend.
 

But I’m trying to figure out how I can find a 3-hour a day job that pays 7 figures. 

Perhaps she was right to break up with you, but under no circumstances was she justified in cheating on you. She should have talked to you multiple times about spending more time together and how your relationship was faltering, then broken up with you, then found someone new. Cheating on your and then trying to blame you and your job is classic narcissistic behavior. If/when she tries to come back (after this tech bro gets laid off in the next round of fat trimming), know that her actions were totally unjustified and that taking her back means this is guaranteed to happen again.

As far as taking time off- that comes down to how you approach grief. In your shoes I would be throwing myself into my work to keep distracted. Work, gym, hanging out with the guys, whatever. Sitting at home would augment the torture.

As a woman in a relationship with an extremelly hard working man in IB I have to tell you that this woman leaving you is the greatest gift in disguise.You cannot see this cause right now as you judge everything through lenses of betrayal.This too shall pass.

A woman of values and dignity doesn’t cheat on her partner no matter what.Period.You deserve better.A woman who will support you,stand by you whilst you are chasing your big goals.A woman who will have patience and understanding.A woman who won’t complain about missed anniversaries and missed gifts but who seems the big picture with the guy she loves and supports.I am like that.And there are women out there who will do the same for you.

She doesn’t deserve you.She is opportunistic chasing money and convenience.Please hold yourself to higher standard.

Hope you feel better soon xx

Y'all are seriously falling for this troll post????

Troll post or not, a situation like this sucks, so I'll answer it as if it were real.

Coping with work isn't a way to handle it, and I would take the week off to get my shit together. Call your bros, brother, father, cousin, or any male figure in your life that you can lean on. Pray on it as well if you have a relationship with God. You just need a week or two to get used to the new norm and gain some perspective. Every man has been there.

She monkey branched to what she thought was the better dick, and she'll do it again the moment that guy loses his job in the next tech layoff. She'll hit him with something like, "You've changed since you lost your job." You lose them how you get them.

That's how women like that go through life. That isn't your fault. Don't let her gaslight you into thinking it was your fault for her being a cheating piece of shit. It was 100% her fault. She could have communicated better with you if she cared. It takes time to get into another relationship; she had a billion and one right and wrong choices to make before she left you. Anywhere in between, she could have chosen to communicate with you if she really loved you, but she chose to do wrong every single time until she finally left.

She wasn't a good woman, and the best thing a person like that can do for you is walk out of your life on their own. You'll realize that once some time goes by.

Not giving your gf the proper attention because you're busy at work is not a sin.....being a dirty cheating slut is. Remember that you are still the better person.

Life gives us all challenges with spouses, career, kids, etc. That doesn't give you the excuse to be a dirtbag whore because you are facing a challenge.

Wow--I know some people are making jokes, and honestly that's not a bad thing, it can be good to laugh at tough situations sometimes, but I feel for you man, I really do. That's such a tough thing to have happen, especially when you're slammed with work. There's no denying it sucks, but you will get through this, and you'll be stronger for it. Just get another chick on your arm, and enjoy being on your own for a bit. Don't try to rush back into the dating world, and definitely don't look back over your shoulder and long for the past, just accept where you are and experience the present.

I don't have much advice on your actual question--should you take a week off--more so just wanted to offer some kind words and acknowledgement of your situation. I mean if you're a VP you probably are established enough to take a week and be fine, even if it turns a few heads or stokes some disapproval. Bottom line is that there's gonna be no escaping the fact that this sucks, and will suck for a little while--that will be true regardless of if you're working or not, but you just have to accept your situation and I promise you it will get so much better. Stay strong brother, keep your head held high, it's in these brief moments, where we go through a lot of pain that we build the most character.

 

Yeah man, I take PTO days for no reason sometimes other than to chill 

You should always use your vacation and pto time but definitely if you’re in a tough spot mentally 

Wtf bro who said men can’t cry? Cry and grieve all you need. Men are humans too and she did so wrong to you so you have all the right to be sad. Now have a rest and come back with a better chick + job

May sound douchey but few better pleasures in life better than a stale relationship ending.

not saying that if you loved her it wont sting, but being single and having coin is great. There are lots of good looking girls to have fun with until ur ready to try monogamy again, even then it will be overrated. I know some bachelors in their 70s who love life.

Hit the gym, download Hinge, and go on a few dates. You'll forget about her in no time.

Bruh, cheating should never be justified even if you’re working crazy hours. Just go find a doctor or something, they work insane hours too.

You're a VP in IB. You have money. Being single with money is more fun than being in relationships. Being in relationships is for broke boys who don't have money to take girls out.

Your mental health is never something that should take a back seat in life. If you are struggling, there is no shame to take a day, week, or more tbh to collect yourself. 

I want to reiterate what someone else said on this thread. YOU did absolutely NOTHING wrong. You put your blood, sweat, and tears into your career to give her the world. You were willing to grind and sacrifice for her just to make her happy. The thanks for all this? She went behind your back like a coward to get with another guy. Then blames the man working tirelessly to make her happy that his work ethic is the reason she cheated. I have a firm belief that "once a cheater, always a cheater". She had no sense of loyalty. And, if it weren't this, it would be something else that she would be using as an excuse for doing what she did. 

I know this sucks and it hurts extremely badly right now. I have felt your pain. But know, she did you a favor. She saved you from spending another penny on a cheating, lying, and arrogant person who gave ZERO regard for your feelings. She threw you out without a second thought. If a relationship is struggling, you talk with your partner like an adult, not sleep with the next person that gives you attention. You're gonna get a girl 100x better than she thinks she is and you'll look back on this situation as a blessing in disguise.

Keep your head up king.

My guy...don't blame yourself or rush to forgive her (not that you should be spiteful either)...but the mature thing for her to do would have been to talk to you about all this before she had an affair with you. This is much more unforgivable. If she didn't have this maturity and respect for you to try to hash out these feelings and needed to step out to get then she doesn't seem like a great catch to begin with. We aren't talking about a one night stand while drunk but an actual affair. Be grateful because you dodged a bullet. 

Women treat men/relationships like men treat jobs. If another employer comes along and offerred you $1m/year, instead of hundreds of thousands, and with far lower time commitment, you'd take it. That's all she did here. And as the leaver, she's making up excuses to justify her decision. That's fine. Thank her for the time you spent together, and wish her well.  Go back into your grind, making yourself the most strong, successful, and attractive version of yourself.  The right girls will come along when you're the best version of yourself.  

As for your self-care, I'd recommend gym and bar time with friends. Don't take time off from work because then you'll just wallow in the situation. Use this poop she's handed you to fertilize your dreams/future.

Is it possible to upload a picture of the tech guy?

Take a week off. That is pretty atrocious. And do not forgive her and her infidelitous hypergamy, her developing a bond with another man while LIVING with you and sleeping in your bed everynight is more than unforgiveable but evil.

Fixating on her will only bring you lower. Take a week to not think about her, but to focus on yourself:

1) Take a vacation to the Carribean, its nice there this time of year

2) Strategize next steps. Your former life plans are now to be rearranged. You now should double down and make director or develop your opwn company. Its time to conquer your own destiny

3) Start hitting the gym. HARD