What's the dumbest thing you've seen on a resume?

I wanna collect all of the stories in this thread and read them throughout my last years of life, so that at least I'll die on a good note, but not from boredom. Feel free to join, thanks a lot for every comment!

 

That’s hard tho… props to him, where did he end up going? Warwick?

 

This guy put under his extracurriculars “Professional Clash Royale Player: 17th Global Leaderboard Rank” and listed his modeling experience. I’m talking about photo shoots, not excel. Absolute chad. He got the offer.

 

Anytime is see “Non Target University Powerlifting Club” (and i see it a lot, unfortunately) it’s an instant trash can.

If you are not ripping each muscle group for 12x+ sets a week in the 10-25 rep range you ain’t gonna work in my group. Gtf outta here with that 15 minute rest-between-sets bullshit. High volume bodybuilding boyz only. I am 100p serious btw.

 

You’re not a CFA candidate if you’re about to take the 1st level. Also, in the exam, they literally test you on that phrase so you know you’re being an extra dumbass if you have that in your resume

 

Saw a two page resume once. But on the second page one of his references was the head of corp dev at a big client of ours. He got an offer

 

Top job experience was Uber, Contractor, with the first line being "Optimized transportation of passengers through use of Global Positioning System to reduce route time and enhance rides per hour". 

In other words, they used GPS while driving for Uber which is already built into the app and you have no choice but to use. 

 

Top job experience: Library Assistant, first line: 'Implemented an innovative alphabetical system for book organization.'"

In other words, they put the books on the shelves in the order that libraries have been using for centuries.

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

Pretty recent. Guy’s resume had a footnote…

(1) Written by ChatGPT

It is a TMT Coverage desk. Was he trying to be funny or add some levity to an otherwise dull process?

Unfortunately, the location of Notre Dame (university) is not Paris, France.

Associate on our team thought it would be hilarious to send a rejection letter with a signature of ‘written by ChatGPT’. That’s just mean spirited… and also a bit funny…

 

Varsity team captain of [insert video game]
 

nothing against gamers but this one was just a bit too deep

 

Saw a girl put “Jersey Shore” under her personal interests section

 

im a girl and i feel like it is so hard to connect with guys about interests because I don't have broish hobbies... any advice? i genuienly need to find a coed interest to talk about

 

Don’t feel like you have to conform and add some bullshit. Just put what you actually care about.

 

others are gonna get pissed at me for this answer cuz it’s not PC but honest take is that us guys don’t want you to be a bro, we have guy friends already for that.

If you have feminine interests, we find that stuff way more interesting because we know nothing about those interests and it’s fun to be work friends with girls that are just cool, normal girls that are happy to be girls and aren’t trying to be quasi-masculine. Nothing is more annoying than girls inauthentically feigning interest in fantasy football or something. It’d be dope to work with a former figure skater, gymnast, volleyball player, etc. I’d certainly find it more interesting to hear about your amateur nail salon business (sorry if offensive just the most girly thing i could think of) than another boring guy like myself talking about how he just started repping 225, how his parlay didn’t hit, and how the hinge girl he got with over the weekend was “SOOOOO HOT.”

 

I wouldn't worry about it. Most guys have 0 "girly" hobbies

 

“Upcoming investment banking analyst post graduation”

Without ever having an internship nor a signed contract

 

I identify as an ATM the way I be bringing in revenue

 

Does anybody else appreciate that the pendulum has swung more towards being honest, raw, simple, and straightforward with interests? There used to be a time where everybody’s interest line was all just the same fake canned bullshit, carefully curated to fit the narrow bounds of acceptable items. 

These past couple years I’ve seen all kinds of random shit on people’s interest lines. Nobodys really using it to brag (unless it’s actually something unique and funny or interesting) or fit in. Gen z overall is just more based.

I love how half the comments on this thread are saying that the alleged “dumb” unique things on people’s resumes are low key hilarious. The only things that really make your resume look dumb are obviously lying, exaggerating, and fabricating things imo. 

 

If you are interested in the original email because it got a response, seeing it won't provide much value. But my advice would be to find your passion/interest early and go incredibly deep. Don't be afraid to operate in your own world and deviate from the standard finance path. Might start a thread with other weird email antics. I once emailed someone of the likes of Bill Ackman and surprisingly got a response and it helped facilitate my career. 

 

Not my story, but a college buddy's dad was a VP at a BB in capital markets in some capacity. Dad said a few years back a kid put "Lingerie Enthusiast" at the bottom of his resume with no context. They brought him in basically to ask "wtf is this?" and the kid responded "Well, I'm here, aren't I? Got me through the door." 

I don't remember if they hired him, but I like to think they did.

 

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